so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
we're making bets on your personal life
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
