it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
