ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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