Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
