this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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