i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
