My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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