i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
soo... how was my night?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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