i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
that may or may not have been my penis.
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