Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Im just a social blackout drinker.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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