There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
