I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
