So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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