GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
