He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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