Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
