My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
