What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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