spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
