she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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