Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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