It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
