I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
