It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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