Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
