There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize
