You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
