I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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