I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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