I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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