No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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