I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
