so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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