It's just like the Real World with babies
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
