That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
