you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
