I hate your face
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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