Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
