she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i believe in u and ur pee
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
