ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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