My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize