I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Its about making memories worth repressing
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
