she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I want a musical about memes.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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