Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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