i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
