I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
