I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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