he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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