is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
