Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
