you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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