I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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