Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
you had me at cake vodka
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
