u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
